Friday, December 31, 2010

A Happily (Un)Married Weekend

As the year draws to a close, I thought it would be a good idea to log how an unmarried, confirmed bachelor spends his weekend.
What follows is an account of an actual weekend for me. Events will, of course, vary accordingly, as in this recorded example, my best friend paid me a visit.

11:25am -Wake up late after deciding to make good on a sleep-deprived week. Lie in luxuriously while the cats frot themselves all over me in a playful attempt to get "Daddy" out of bed.
11:30am -Give in to the cats, get up, shower, then feed and cuddle them.
11:50am -Look in fridge for breakfast food. Decide that brunch is a better option. Fry up bacon hock, hash patties, 2 tomatoes, 2 eggs, black pudding and 2 slices of bread slathered with butter. One pot of tea and 15 minutes later, I'm tucking in. (Note: how many women toting "grrrrrrrl power" today can even cook? I am told they are capable of burning a TV dinner!)
1:30pm -Go to nearby hypermarket to load up. I'll be very busy teaching in the new year, so it makes sense to load up on necessary items and convenience stuff like pre-baked lasagna and pizza. Since I won't be venturing out much, I do need to eat!
3:30pm -Familiar footsteps outside my door heralds the arrival of Craig, my best friend and fellow MGTOW. He wants a Dungeons & Dragons challenge but most of our regular "gang" are either overseas or busy with projects. We end up with the Scrabble board instead along with a barrel-load of laughs.
5:30pm -A horrified look at the clock reveals its too late for tea but too early for dinner. I raid the fridge and quickly whip up sandwiches, scones dripping cream and jam, and a steaming pot of tea. We sit down to an English tradition - "high tea" while the cats nuzzle my legs, hoping not for a bite but for some more love!
8:00pm -We are sitting in my favourite restaurant - Oriole's - for dinner. Craig has forbidden me to cook and has taken me out instead.
11:00pm -I'm soaking in the tub, wineglass in hand, Charpentier playing in the background and Leo, my oldest cat affectionately perched atop the water closet so he can be as near to me as possible but not get splashed!
11:30pm -I've hauled myself out of the tub, dried, dressed and curled up in bed with the latest installment in The Wheel of Time series. Leo is snuggled against my hip, purring like an off-grist mill wheel. We're both happy campers and I'll probably read until I fall asleep to the gentle vibrations of my purring cat.

Does that sound like a "happily married man" to you? If you equate "happily married" to being tied to a shrill-voiced harpy who pressurizes you into doing things because SHE wants it; the endless honey-do lists; the bills, mostly her bills; that is; the demise of time with your buddies; the demise of your own free time and space; the death of sex ... then you are "happily married" indeed!
Me, I chose the"road less travelled", the MGTOW path, and never looked back.
I've lived my life like that of the world's shortest fairytale (published below) and I'm much better for it.

(By the way, thanks to MarkyMark for this gem of a tale!)
Onward to 2011!

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