Sunday, January 02, 2011

How to handle the modern woman ... (yuck!)

In a word - with CONTEMPT.
With THE GREATEST CONTEMPT (emphasis added for effect).

Some tips on handling her:
- A date will cost no more than 40 dollars.
- She pays her share on all dates. No exceptions.
- If she objects, or decides to renege and "displays" her objections by disappearing to the washroom while the bill is arriving, ask the waiter to split the bill - yours and hers. Pay for yours, leave hers at her place, walk out and never call her again.

- Only if you must and consider it doing HER the favour.
- Always at her place or some cheap hotel. NEVER at your place.
- Use two condoms and fill both with spermicides, inside and out.
- Put a spermicidal pessary into her. If she objects, walk out.
- Fill the used condoms with Tabasco or horseradish sauce and flush it down the toilet.
Reminder: her cooch is a sinkhole of filth and diseases.
Axiom: she is an object fit for fucking and chucking. Nothing more.

In Public
- She can open the door by herself.
- If you are first in the queue, you are first in the queue.
- You do not give way to her. At all.
- If she's texting, reading a book, etc while walking, you walk straight into her, walk on and never look back.
- You keep a stony face when looking at all women at all times.
- If she's drunk or needing help, you DO NOT GO TO HER AID! EVER! You DO NOT want the risk of a molestation charge or FRA. - Better to be labelled a selfish chump and save your own skin than to go to her aid and lose it all by being falsely accused as recompense.

General Reminders
- You do not tolerate her lame excuses.
- You will not let her take even the slightest iota of advantage.
- Ordure has more worth than her.
- Slugs, bugs and beetles are higher ranking to her.
- A snake is more trustworthy than her.

"Oh, that's unfair! Why are you treating me like this? I am so not like that!"
You know what? Tough shit c**t!
Did I hear any of you speak up when men were in the grinding mill?
And until you prove yourself worthy, you are all tarred with the same brush.
As MarkyMark would say: Cry me a river bitch!



MarkyMark said...

Sounds like Leykis 101, hehehe...

Captain No Marriage said...

Hey man, I found your blog via Eman's Blog.

Good stuff, you remind me of Tom Leykis.