Tuesday, January 25, 2011

The Lone Nut -Hoax Crime

I'm back after a nightmare fortnight wrestling with work overload and a crashed computer -more on that later (ick!).

Anyway, its good to be "back in business" and with it, comes the latest installment in the Lone Nut comic I'm helping (unofficially) to syndicate.


Monday, January 03, 2011

Adeus Brasil, descanse em paz

Farewell Brazil, rest in peace!

That is exactly what will happen to Brazil's position as a rising power now that they've sworn in the first female successor to their wildly popular ex-President - Luis Inacio Lula da Silva.

Mrs Dilma Rousseff has already shown her true colours in her opening Congress address: "My promise is ... to honour women, to protect the most fragile, and to govern for all." (emphasis mine). Note that she places women first and everyone else second. That should raise the red flag on her feminist agenda if it wasn't already obvious just from looking at her smug mug.

According to Yahoo! News, "the coming decade looks bright for Brazil, with massive, offshore oil reserves due to be exploited and the country preparing to host the World Cup and the Olympic Games." Uh-uh, not for long. Not with a feminazi President at the helm.

Of course I stand corrected if she proves herself in the long run. That will be a rare case; a 66/1 odds inasmuch as the possibility of David and Victoria Beckham splitting up. But there are too many precedents for me not to raise this red flag seriously. Look at the number of women who have come to power and abused their position: Elena Kagan; Hilary Clinton; Sonia Sotomayor; Sarah Palin; Nancy Pelosi; Carly Fiorina; Angela Merkel, Harriet Harman, Jacqui Smith, Hazel Blears et al. Every single one of these women have brought ruin in their wake.

It can be said that the sun is at its very zenith when it starts to set. In the corporate world, each new change in management heralds the disposing of the old and the inculcation of the new. Brazil will now be entering the throes of its wane, a quick descent down the slippery slope of perdition. We, the rest of the world must stand and watch as years of toil will now be undone once Mrs Rousseff sinks her fangs in.

Requiescat in pace Brazil.
Kyrie eleison, Christe eleison,
Et lux perpetua luceat eis.

Sunday, January 02, 2011

How to handle the modern woman ... (yuck!)

In a word - with CONTEMPT.
With THE GREATEST CONTEMPT (emphasis added for effect).

Some tips on handling her:
- A date will cost no more than 40 dollars.
- She pays her share on all dates. No exceptions.
- If she objects, or decides to renege and "displays" her objections by disappearing to the washroom while the bill is arriving, ask the waiter to split the bill - yours and hers. Pay for yours, leave hers at her place, walk out and never call her again.

- Only if you must and consider it doing HER the favour.
- Always at her place or some cheap hotel. NEVER at your place.
- Use two condoms and fill both with spermicides, inside and out.
- Put a spermicidal pessary into her. If she objects, walk out.
- Fill the used condoms with Tabasco or horseradish sauce and flush it down the toilet.
Reminder: her cooch is a sinkhole of filth and diseases.
Axiom: she is an object fit for fucking and chucking. Nothing more.

In Public
- She can open the door by herself.
- If you are first in the queue, you are first in the queue.
- You do not give way to her. At all.
- If she's texting, reading a book, etc while walking, you walk straight into her, walk on and never look back.
- You keep a stony face when looking at all women at all times.
- If she's drunk or needing help, you DO NOT GO TO HER AID! EVER! You DO NOT want the risk of a molestation charge or FRA. - Better to be labelled a selfish chump and save your own skin than to go to her aid and lose it all by being falsely accused as recompense.

General Reminders
- You do not tolerate her lame excuses.
- You will not let her take even the slightest iota of advantage.
- Ordure has more worth than her.
- Slugs, bugs and beetles are higher ranking to her.
- A snake is more trustworthy than her.

"Oh, that's unfair! Why are you treating me like this? I am so not like that!"
You know what? Tough shit c**t!
Did I hear any of you speak up when men were in the grinding mill?
And until you prove yourself worthy, you are all tarred with the same brush.
As MarkyMark would say: Cry me a river bitch!


Saturday, January 01, 2011

NO! to women

I came across this obnoxious Time magazine cover whilst reading a site I hadn't visited in a while - Rebuking Feminism.

I thought this was a fine way to start 2011 - by saying "NO" to women.
Strange how women will find ways and means to vilify and/or demean men. "An empowered woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle" has been their war cry for much of 2010 and the years prior to that. As 2011 dawns and the second decade of the Millennium is well on its way, the realization that the bicycle doesn't need the fish either is slowly but surely sinking in.

But wait! It gets better! The fish will proclaim, evermore loudly and stridently that it doesn't need the bicycle, up and until something happens in which the bicycle is needed - think changing the air-conditioning ventilator, or the water in the car. Suddenly, these stinking women expect men to forget everything, automatically assume the mantle of Knight In Shining Armour and rescue her. I hate to burst the bubble for these pompous FemiStinks, but Damsels In Distress belonged to the Age of Chivalry. And Chivalry is long dead, thanks to the Femiturds.

Therefore I propose that in 2011, we say "NO" to women. All women. Since they voted en masse for a Feminist President to take the Oval Office, they can look to him when things go sour, as it ultimately will. You might think that I'm unfair in tarring all women with the same brush. Yes, since they spoke not against the tide of misandry, they are ALL guilty by association. No quarter asked and none given in return. In a later post I will offer ways to say "NO" to women.

Incidentally, notice that the cover of Time poses the rhetorical question "Are they happy?" My answer to that would be I don't know, I don't care and I don't give a flying f**k!"

Onward to a liberated 2011!